Our Sentiments

Mothering and Life in General

Leave Your Bullshit At The Door

This should be a Oh, No He Didn’t post, but I am trying hard not to bombard them with negativity. I have a cute one coming up for Tuesday anyways 😉

So my sister has not called me. She did not even call me for Mother’s Day either. Not too upset about it, just needed an opening here. She is mad at me, because she thinks I took things a bit too far about what happened, when she came over. I don’t think I did, and I am waiting for her convenient side of things. Have not received it so I guess my views are right.

Well here is the thing. I have found breastfeeding to be a constant fight, if it was not DH it was the In-laws; if not them, friends. It’s been hard and taxing trying to get to a point where I continue with nursing and them their own lives.

I go out into public, a place I don’t really like so much, I get eyed and googled, and I get dirty looks. I have seen some grumpy fat guy almost fall into a trash can. All because I nurse.

I deal with this everyday, a content fight. “Don’t you think she’s too old, don’t you think she should be on cow’s milk?” Even mother’s who extend nurse until 2 are saying I am going too long, after all, ‘a child will never wean on their own’.

I nurse, I breastfeed, I am also giving my daughter what I feel is normal. I only go and shop at notified baby-friendly initiative places (our city did reach Baby-friendly initiative but not every place promotes it, I know it’s for medical stuff but hey, malls have stickers for pro-breasting – I go there). I only go to areas where breastfeeding is welcomed. I do this to also promote breastfeeding in the public.

Also because, I want the smallest chance that I will run into another who needs me to put their nose back on their face where it belongs.

Other breastfeeding mother’s can chime in at anytime, it’s hard to breastfeed, let alone around someone else, let alone around the public. We try, but it does not work, there is always someone you make unhappy.

So I make my home the best I can, but everyone knows when they come here they nurse anywhere they want, except maybe my bathroom, you don’t get any privacy there (did you giggle?). They also know that when they come here they will be seeing some breastfeeding. Call my place, Breastfeeding in Daily Life 101.

Everyone who comes into this home knows that I breastfeed, I will do so anywhere I am, I do so just as it is natural for anyone, I do so like it’s done a million times before (well it has, but they don’t know that).

In our home the only discrete thing I will do is try different ways to put the blanket around us so no one else sees, note I said try! This does not mean you will not see anything, it means I have tried for you not to see. This is for people who are of the opposite sex, um my sister’s boyfriend perhaps, and someone I don’t know really well.

Let’s just be clear on the matter, I don’t want you to see my breasts, I don’t want Bo-Jo too either, I don’t think anyone should be seeing my breast except for maybe my husband and child. I don’t flaunt, I don’t advertise, I do what needs to be done and I get out. If you happen to see something, it’s not enough time for your eyes to send to your brain so your brain can remember.

Even if you could remember, would I choose to not nurse my child when she is hungry or thirsty because you might see a bit of nipple action? Obviously not, my child will always come before another’s embarrassment. Besides you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.

Let us also be clear that, this is K2’s home, not anybody else, believe me she rules the roost, we just guide. I will not have her feel uncomfortable in her own home. I will not invite someone back if they made me feel so uncomfortable for me to be put into another room, in my OWN home so I can nurse my child. They are a guest and guest accommodations do run short with the I-don’t-like-breastfeeding department.

My breasts are not for you, thank you very much, have a nice day, pick-up your free T-shirt at the door and don’t let it hit you on your way out.

What is wrong you ask?

My sister and her new boyfriend came over, it was nice since May 7th is hard for me. We were talking and having some laughs, and then K2 asked “Mommy can I have a boob-e-a?” I looked around for a blanket and of course I did not have one out there, so I got up to grab one.

As I was leaving the room I heard my sister say “Oh, she is going to use the blanket.” I rolled my eyes and said here we go. Grabbed the blanket and headed off to the living room. Here is a great picture…

My sister’s boyfriend is curled into the corner of my couch knees bent feet on the edge. He is covering his eyes like the sun is in them, turned towards my sister. BEAT RED!

This is the guy that should be older than my husband (never had an issue with the age though), this is a guy who was born from a Midwife. This is the guy on MY couch, in MY home, acting like I came out of the bedroom naked with whipped cream as a bikini! Seriously, leave your bullshit at the door!

Never had I saw this in my home before, I was so uncomfortable I needed to go into the bedroom to nurse. As I was nursing my daughter in the bedroom, I can hear them talking. While I heard the two of them talking I was getting angry.

Must be effing nice to talk about one, when they are not in the room.

So my sister called the day after. I had a speech already in my head. I was going to tell her that I am disappointed that she never told him that we nurse, and to not expect us to leave the room while doing so. I was going to say that if he cannot be mature enough to either go for a smoke break or try to act normal then I think it’s best not to come back.

I got to: “Well I was going to say something, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, did you tell him I nursed?” When she said yes things just went down hill from there.

She told me he was trying to be respectful of me, and he was thinking of me… Really!?!?!?!

Oh, can’t forget that I am taking this way to far, and I am making this bigger than it is. She also told me that, that was not the time to talk to her. Well, since her wisdom teeth are bothering her and she was on codeine.

I think this is weird, never thought the first person who would tick me off about nursing in my home, other than DH would be someone she brought to the house. I never thought that she would be standing up for her boyfriends feeling over her niece’s needs. I guess I just seen my purple cow.

I am not mad at her about what he did, what he did was not her control. I am angry that her and I could not talk about this and she was completely fine with saying it was me.

Again, I am still waiting for her to call me back. I won’t hold my breath, it’s not like it matters anyways, I am only good to my family with they need something or they are bored on the bus ride home.

I feel sorry for her though, she picked a winner on this one, but that is another story. Let us hope this is not the one who will father my nieces and nephews.

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4 responses to “Leave Your Bullshit At The Door

  1. Celina hosp May 13, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    This happens to me! A lot I wish people would just grow up!!! I was nursing L once and my neice’s boyfriend sat right next to me and said “can I hold her” I said sure after she’s finished!! He looked down and realized I was nursing turned beet red and left the room!!! He still can’t look me in the eyes weirdo!!!

    • Our Sentiments May 13, 2010 at 6:14 pm

      You know I can understand being weird, but this crazy, noticeably weird is nuts! Before nursing I did not know what to do when a mother nursed in the same room. Do I keep talking, do I look at baby, or will she think I am looking at her breast. Do I look away? Do I move to another room? Do I offer a blanket. I just stared the mother in the eye and continued talking. It gets easier the more your exposed to it I guess. Now I look at the baby and the latch, and take in how perfect it is.

      These annoying reactions are not needed at all. It’s not Ebola people, it’s breastfeeding, no harm will come to you for witnessing it.

  2. Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud June 4, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    How did I not see this “OH NO HE DIDN’T!” post?!? I feel terrible now because I would’ve liked to have commented when it first came out. I’m sorry about missing this. 😦
    I’m constantly baffled by people who find breastfeeding to be an uncomfortable thing to witness. It’s sad really. I’m sorry they made you feel that way. You’re doing an amazing thing for your child. Go mama!
    Thanks for stopping by my place. Hope your weekend is off to a great start. Have a good one…

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
    @TweetingMama

    • Our Sentiments June 5, 2010 at 2:27 am

      It’s not your fault Kristi, I did not post it for your ONHD posts. I did not want to make things too negative at your neck of the woods. I just linked to your site so readers would know what I was talking about and might try a post or two 🙂

      I don’t understand people either! I hope we all make a difference for when it’s the next generation’s time to parent. I would love to see both formula feeding and breastfeeding mother’s talking together in the sun. Knowing they both made an educated choice for their family.

      sigh…

      A girl can dream can’t she?

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