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Mothering and Life in General

Breastfeeding Week, Day 2: Sharing Information

Do you know how bad it disgusts me to hear two mothers bicker? They are like caddy little school girls who were late for the last chocolate milk. It seriously disturbs me, to think these once were dear friends or family. People I grew up respecting and loved, but now are raving lunatics.

All because I posted something breastfeeding or parenting related on Facebook. All because I shared some information about breastmilk.

I used to love the diversity of my friends because in open communication I can and will understand what the other person is coming from. My friends have opened my mind to what it would be like to be a minority, a male, a foreigner, and what it’s like to grow up with mom and dad still in the home. Now, the first thing I will do if I win a lotto, is to buy an island and tell most of them to forget they ever knew me.

I love them but I have lost a lot of respect for my loved ones.

Simply because they take my sharing in the intent to insult, angry or demean. Because I don’t think the same way as them, they assume that when I share I am doing to make them feel guilty, or I am opening up a line for their opinions. Which results in personal attacks of myself or other contacts, that is totally wrong.

It’s hard for me to share anything on Facebook now. Even after I have deleted several people, grouped them all into areas of interest. I still have moments to pause and think: “Will this cause me to feel like I have to babysit grown people?” It’s just too much.

So here are a few things, that people should know about me but often forgets:

  • I don’t share things to make anyone feel guilty, call anyone an idiot or say that anyone did things wrong. Some topics the article opened my eyes to a new thinking or reminded me of what I have done in the past and while reading I thought “Shit I wish I had known better” or, “Damn I remember I used to think this way”. To me a friend is sharing this information, to me this is support.
  • If I meant to insult I would! I do have a sharp tongue and I know how to use it. I can be like that, but it does not get me anywhere but High School. So don’t read between the lines. Remember I could be reading while nursing and holding another child in my arms finding something interesting and hit the share button. I only have split moments during the day for sanity time adult time. Most of the time I don’t even comment when I share anymore because of this. I have started quoting the article and even that is not good enough.
  • You have the power to shut me off, but not shut me up. You can hide me, ignore me, or hey, even delete me. In a perfect world people would email me to let me know how you are thinking so I can reword what is stated (if I can). But I can understand why one may not do that.
  • Look at my bio. It will state my pages, interests and beliefs. I don’t expect everything to be like yours, but I have respect for your sharing, have respect for mine. I don’t comment on your post of, such as, how much you love your spouse, so why would you think it’s ok to post “Just having another baby and get over it already” on mine? Not good. You could have written that way differently.
  • Someone else on my contact list could be interested in the information shared. More often times it’s more than one person. I can understand how it might seem personal to you, but really it’s not unless I tag you in it.
  • You ask and you shall receive. There are many friends over the years that have heard stories of what K2 and I have been through. Through trying to ‘get over’ K2’s NICU experience and breastfeeding and crappy doctors who hindered, I have read and ran into a lot of things. So if you ask for information, information is what you will get. As I am sending/sharing I think about different aspects of the question or things that helped me along the way. I will keep you in mind for any future information I came across and will share that too. Don’t shoot the messenger, please. If you are done with it you need to tell me, I don’t mind read.

Do you have similar things happen to you when you share through a social network. Have you figured out a way to express your interests in parenting issues, such as breastfeeding that helps? Can you share? Would you like to share your story?

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