Mothering and Life in General
A Dream To Remember
I had another dream last night that has stuck with me all day. It was a hopeful pick me up from others that I just can not share. I have put in other names because it seems better to understand then to put me and my mother. And of course, I tried my best to capture the feelings in words, which is very hard for me to do.
Lee, a daughter, who just became a new mother herself is welcomed home with a healthy baby from the hospital. A bright new future ahead, a tiny baby, a new family, wonderful happy moments to share.
Ann, a mother who recently became a Grandmother, smiles widely at the way life has turned out. A new addition to her family, warmth and love fills the room. She sits back in wonder, in grace, and in hope. She knew this day would come, yet it seemed so far away.
Ann helps her daughter settle the luggage, she helped with the new baby’s items and is in for some Mother-to-Mother time with her daughter. The home is filled with peace and joy, and she reminisces on the day she brought Lee home.
The new baby lets out a fuss and the new mom picks up the child and cradles her in her arms. The new joy roots around against her mother’s breast, knowing mom will get the hint. As mom lifts her shirt and latches the baby, the baby opens her mouth and begins to nurse.
Ann looks in awe on how magically things seem to be between the new mother and child. She fills her senses with the moment to remember every detail. The way her daughter holds her baby. The way their eyes are locked on each other. The way the baby instantly calms and settles into a peaceful sleep. And how the world is surrounded by this one-act.
As Lee places the sleeping baby in the bassinet, Ann goes to the kitchen to get a snack and some juice. She could hear the baby’s cries again. As Ann returns to the livingroom she notices her daughter has been quickly transformed. She seemed frazzled, tired, hopeless and in need of some tender care.
Lee looks up at her mother, “Mom, I can’t do this, she wants the breast every moment of the day. I can’t get a moments rest. I can’t do this, I just can’t!”. Ann sets the glasses and platter down on the table and scoots beside Lee. She quickly remembers back to a time when she was there.
“Lee, you are this baby’s mother and you have chosen this way to feed your child. You are this baby’s home and the closet thing to heaven in this big world of ours. You can do this, it’s just a growth spurt. I believe in you, and so does this tiny child.”
Ann notices her daughter’s shoulder relax, her eyes closed to gather her will. She realizes she is tired and new to everything, and it’s alright to not have all the answers. She looks at her mother with admiration for her support in her and in her belief, “But Mom, how did you know this, when you didn’t nurse that long?”
“Well, the last time I came for a visit I noticed a breastfeeding book on your table. I jotted down the title, because I know that is what you wanted to do. I bought the book and I read it from front to back. I knew that as your mother I need to help you, if and when I can.”
Ann continued, “Even though I did not breastfeed you for very long because I was told my milk was bad, does not mean I can’t help you, encourage you to your goal. Back then, when you were young, we did not have the information you have now. As your mother and as this baby’s Grandmother I owe it to you both to love and support you as the breastfeeding dyad.
Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone felt this way?