Mothering and Life in General
Changing My Career Goals
This post sort of scares me, because once I post this it will be out in the open. I don’t even know how life will go. I have done a lot of thinking about my future, about where in the working life I would be best in. For years my direction was IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant). As I waited for K2 to come of age where I can go out of the home to take classes, and my Home Daycare to settle a bit, I continuously thought about how will I get my IBCLC?
In all my stressing, it’s coming to almost 3 years that I have been a volunteer breastfeeding mom-to-mom support. I love speaking with women about their births and about their child or children. I loved passing down the torch to another mother to carry on the breastfeeding tradition. What I hated, was it was only on the phone and I was only a volunteer.
There were so many times I wish I could climb through that phone and sit on the family’s couch to see the latch, to get a feel for the home, and look into the mom’s eyes to say I believe in her. Just watch as the parents fall more in love with their newly born infant. I also imagined the good I was doing in supporting a mom, when she had no one else around.
Sadly, this volunteer group is what really made my mind up. Through this volunteer group, only one of my mom’s made it to 6 months exclusively breastfeeding. I feel I am apart a Boobie Trap, I give referrals to the requested clinics, and the moms are then formula feeding. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But these moms come to groups such as what I volunteer for and Breastfeeding Clinics for Breastfeeding solutions. To me, I let these moms down.
I don’t want to be an IBCLC anymore, not saying that being an IBCLC is bad, just some of the information I hear from a few of their mouths, really shake up my head. In all my confusing thoughts about this goal, they went and changed the requirements for 2012, making it harder to get anyways. I will have to go to college for some form of nursing. Then work in the field of nursing until I gain my hours to sit for the IBCLC Exam. No offense, but Nursing is just not for me. Just being at the hospital, will be triggering.
Please don’t get me wrong being any form of Nurse or an IBCLC is an honorable career, don’t taken anything I am writing as offensive. I just want something different. I want to get away from anything medicalized, where there are no restrictions on how close I can get to the family. I have spoken many times to a PSW friend of mine, on how I can’t put my game face on and not give that extra attention. How I don’t want to get desensitized, in the medical world, being as I am in my nature. I don’t want to change myself, to be good at my job, I want my job to be customizing to me.
I want to be away from my family and not feel that being away is a waste of time. I want K2 to look at me as she grows up and be proud of what she changed me to be. I want to help mothers, fathers and their babies, not only to breastfeed but as a whole. After some time of thinking, I can’t believe I have not seen this before.
So here goes, I want to be a Postpartum Doula and a Breastfeeding Counselor. I know a Breastfeeding Counselor seems like a step down from an IBCLC. However, I feel that there is less Patient-Medical Professional lines. I can sit in a family’s home, I can show Dad how he can help. I feel I have a lot to give a family, from my almost 4 years of hell. I can even teach classes if I choose to do so. Eventually as K2 grows, I might get into doing Labor work. For now I am pretty excited, I can start now and not have to wait, I just have to figure out what class.
It’s scary though, to change your path, after years of thinking one goal. I think this is better for me, better for my family, and hopefully better for others as well. It’s scary, but I know things will work out. So for now, I am a book worm, and getting tips from others. From reading a description of one course, a friend told me I already do the same things now, but for free. I think this will be good. I think I will be fulfilled. I think it will show K2 that you don’t have to stay in a job that you hate.
I guess what I am saying is, I never really thought things through before. I don’t want to treat a person, I want to be apart of their support team. So there goes another chapter in the strange life of me. I am happy and settled to see where this takes me. Just in case, keep your fingers crossed anyway.